I’m Scared To Grow Up

Scared To Grow Up - Fresh And Fearless

As I approach my final days as a university fresher student (well, I certainly felt like a fresher for the full three years!) I find myself sitting up late in bed, worrying, wondering and the worst part… scared. Scared to become an adult.

I always had a vision of how I wanted my life to be, I was going to grow up to be a boy who earned his riches from working hard within a scientific field, owned the biggest house known to man, along with my multiple cars and a premium made stable block along with acres of land, a stone throw away from my back lawn.

The pathetic, materialistic dreams I feel I had as a youngster are slowly starting to fade as I grow up. The reality of it all is that the world does revolve about having the most, or being the best. Sometimes it’s just about getting through the mediocre parts in order to survive in this dog eat dog world. I’m scared, truthfully.

I always saw myself as the pilot of my own life, flying high in the skies but I find myself bringing my plane down to a quick jerky landing, back to reality.

What if things don’t turn out the way I want them to? What if I fall in love with a different career choice than I originally intended? I fear change a lot, many of my friends will know the struggle I got through when change occurs. This change is the biggest struggle yet.

Along with adulthood comes various commitments and considerations. I feel like I need to get myself ready for the bumpy ride ahead, because who knows what’s coming. Am I going to be a full-time blogger who discovers his true talent in writing? Am I going to go off to be something different to I ever expected? Or will I find myself back to where I started in a science based career.  I need answers, but I feel like right now only time will give me those answers.

I find myself in a coffee shop in the middle of central London, surrounded by many people with different stories. I sit here in a daze, wondering what their story is? Corporate office workers in suits and ties – surely they didn’t get to where they are without a fight?

Nonetheless, the past three years have been an absolute blast and I feel like I have grown as a person, from a timid young town boy. Time was not wasted, lessons were learnt, friends for life were made and I have an education under my belt too, whilst living in this wonderfully busy capital. Sometimes you have no choice but to grow up, but that’s life.

Sometimes the journey is just as important as the destination…

Until next time…